After a long day among lil’ orphan hugs, photo shoots, and hours of play in the hot sun, our group piled into an already luggage-filled 12 passenger van.  There was room left for about 9 people, but we had managed a nearly miraculous feat of fitting in all 11 on our team and one very cute haitian baby girl.   We had a 6 hour bumpy drive ahead of us and the sun had already set.  We were tired, depleted of nearly all our energy, and bracing ourselves for an uncomfortable drive – hoping to catch a bit of much-need sleep on the way.

I climbed in and took the “extra” seat that folded out over the step by the sliding door.  I didn’t mind so much, as it provided a bit more leg room ahead of me.   But just as we were about ready to take off, the door flung open and a small Haitian woman piled into the pop down seat in front of me.   This woman climbed in with a quiet determination, scooting the others in the row even more uncomfortably to the left, and grabbing my suitcase which was once in the place she now filled, set it awkwardly upon her lap... along with her own belongings. 

A brief moment of silent disbelief passed amongst our team.  Who was this woman, and what did she think she was doing?  We were then told that we’d be giving her a ride all the way back to Port au’ Prince.  It would have been comical if it weren’t for the reality of what this meant for everyone.  Luggage was to be shifted once again moving to the only places available - upon laps; and raising the level of discomfort to an almost unbearable level.

As I took in the situation before me, I wondered what to do.  Should I be concerned that this Haitian woman in front of me was having to bear not only her own load, but mine as well?  After all, it was her own choice to squeeze into the van, and all of us were taxed as it was.  In addition to crowded quarters, we’d be enduring 6 hours of burning garbage fumes wafting through the windows of our un-air-conditioned vehicle, and the never-ending, often violent jostle of the roads. Did I really want to add to the already daunting drive?

But then a comment was made that brought a gospel reality check to my heart. 

Someone declared, “Look at this woman.  Sitting on a seat barely there and with bags at her feet and upon her lap.  This is the Haitian way, and you will never hear her complain.”

Was I to leave my burden resting upon this woman simply because she had chosen to squeeze in with us, and was probably used to these conditions on a regular basis, anyway?

Quietly, the Spirit of God pricked my heart, saying, “To her, this burden may be normal, but you can show her the gospel life.”

That was it.  Just a few weeks earlier, I’d been thinking about the life of Gladys Aylward – the single missionary to China who rescued hundreds of orphans and brought hundreds into the Kingdom of God. She lived with such dependency upon Jesus, that she faced, endured, and conquered some unbelievable challenges and adventures for God!  

Her trust in His protection led her to enter into the middle of a deadly prison riot, to bring the inmates peace and order.  Her trust in God’s measure of strength led her to shepherd 100 orphans safely across enemy laden mountains in a grueling twenty-seven day journey.  Can you imagine how taxed your body would be with little to no food and climbing treacherous terrain for that long?  Or the emotional weight of caring for 100 children with no other leader to bear the responsibility with you - all the while having the ceaseless threat of enemy discovery or attack?  Yet, she did the impossible, the unimaginable, and all while being plagued with illnesses that would keep even the strongest back at home in bed.

The Lord supplied to Gladys all that He had promised her - His life. His resources.  She had

faith to believe that He would give her and the children all that they needed, and that His presence would neither leave nor forsake them as they followed after Him. Gladys did not merely rescue orphans.  She defied what stood in the way of God’s task for her, and conquered it through faith in the strength, not of herself, but of a mighty, miraculous, and faithful God!

I’d been praying for a similar childlike faith. “Lord,” I’d been asking, “Will you acquaint me with the power of Your Life within me?  Will you fashion my heart and spirit to believe and operate out of Your Life and not my own?   Will you teach me to live in expectation of your resources and not my own?  I want it, Lord, whatever the cost.  Do not let me miss out on anything Your Life has purchased for me on your cross!”

I had already understood that Christ had given His life for me by His death and resurrection.  But now, I was beginning to realize that His Life – everything that He is – was given to me through His purchase on the Cross:

According to His divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him that hath called us to glory and virtue:  Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature...  II Peter 1:304

Partakers of the divine nature?   That hadn’t been the full reality of my existence.  I’d struggled with laziness or lethargy winning out over a productive day of fruitfulness, fear of what full time work for the Lord might require of me, physical hindrances that kept me from being fully available to His call, and battling sickness that far too often kept me home and out of ministry life. 

But does Jesus battle laziness or lack of purpose?  Is he ever confused?  Is He weak and sickly?  Is He bound by anything that hinders the agenda of His glory and gospel?  The more I prayed and meditated upon this Truth, the more His Spirit kept whispering, Look to Christ who IS your life. (Col 3:4)

And now here, in this cramped Haitian van, was a clear opportunity to trust in the supernatural power of God to sustain me; to experience the reality of Christ in me.  I knew if I took my own suitcase from this woman and put it under my feet, it would force my legs to be bent and tucked awkwardly underneath me.  Could I bear that position for 6 hours strait with an already fatigued body?   I don’t have great circulation anyway, and knew that without God’s help, my legs would rapidly fall asleep and unbearable pain would soon follow.

But this was exactly what I’d been praying for.  I had asked to be trained for supernatural dependence and here was a simple opportunity of faith right before me.

I asked for my suitcase to be passed back and trying for subtlety, I failed.  My bag became wedged and I had to wrestle it into the small place at my feet, drawing everyone’s attention to my seemingly absurd idea.

One my fellow team-members exclaimed, “Annie, you’re crazy.  There is no way you are riding all six hours with your legs up like that!” 

“I’m fine, Zach.”  I said with a smile.

“No way, pass it back here.  There is no way you’re going to make it.” 

Zach’s situation was no better.  He was in the far

back with all the remaining luggage, and his wife squished at his side with an an upset stomach (and no doubt dreading our upcoming 6 hour back-seat bus ride).

The stage had been set.  No one else could take the bag - it was either me or the woman who needed to see a Living example of the gospel, her needs put above my own.  The Lord was pressing upon my heart, “You wanted to know my supernatural sustaining power for the sake of My name?  Here it is.  Now trust Me, even with a simple matter of circulation in your legs.”

I turned around to Zach and reiterated that I would be fine. “God will help me, Zach.”

His face held 30% sympathy and 70% smirk that seemed to reply “you’ll be sorry.”

I turned around in my seat and cried out in the silence of my own heart, “Lord, help me!”  I had declared to everyone where my help would come from, which only added to the importance of the outcome.

But a mustard seed of faith goes along way, and soon I had such joyful expectation in God that a broad smile surfaced on my face that only the Father could share with me in the darkness of the night.

During the road trip you could hear laughter in conversation, soft snores, and groans over the fragrance of our lil’ Haitian baby’s diaper blow out.  But throughout all 6 hours and very lil’ shifting of my position, I can say that for not a single moment did I experience pain or even the tingling of my legs falling asleep!  I knew that I was being upheld beyond what was natural, and it was by the faithful and simple reality of what God supplies when we

yield our life for His!  His strength replaced mine.

Major Ian Thomas said in His book, The Indwelling Life of Christ, “When God made you and me, His intention was that we in normality would be distinguishable from the animal kingdom by a quality of life and behavior that would allow for absolutely no possible explanation but God within us.”

The purpose of this supernatural life is not merely for our own benefit (although abiding in Him brings the believer unmatched joy!); it is so that others may see something not of ourselves and so too come to know the living God. 

At the end of our bus ride, it was all I could do to keep myself from leaping out - not because I was so eager to be out of the van, but because I could actually leap out with just as much strength in my limbs as I had when I had sat down 6 hours ago.  Zach simply shook his head and smiled.

Though it may seem like a small thing, that opportunity for supernatural dependency has been a grand beginning of deepening faith.  I had wondered how the Christians of martyrdom could endure torture and death, how the persecuted Christians could willingly enter into prison without panic and crippling fear, how missionaries could say yes to an impossible task ahead of them and then actually accomplish it.  I had wondered how God would build me for such a life.  And the answer is simple. It is Christ, who is our Life.   *

“Faithful is He who calls you,

who also will do it.”

I Thessalonians 5:24

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