by Kristina Williams

he church was beautifully decorated. The bride, my good friend Katie, was a picture of loveliness. Outwardly everything seemed perfect. Watching Katie’s father escort her down the aisle, I was reminded of the many long talks Katie and I had shared about this very day. We often talked about our future husbands, and our mutual desire to marry men who had a deep love and passion for the Lord. Katie and I clearly saw the need to wait on God’s best for our lives, regardless of what others around may do. I remembered the unforgettable day that my dear friend and I had made the commitment to settle for nothing less than God’s perfect will in our relationships.     

While listening to Katie exchange vows with the man who would soon be her husband, my mind was filled with uncertainty.  I wanted to be happy for her, but it was so difficult to ignore the gnawing sense of worry that was flooding my    

mind. This man who was now placing the ring on Katie’s finger was not the husband she dreamed of and prayed for. He did not have the deep love, passion, and devotion for Christ that Katie once desired in a mate. She had lowered her standards, and was now doing what she committed to never do. She was settling for less than God’s best.

    Katie has fallen in love with this man who clearly did not have God in first place in his life. She and I talked about this decision, and Katie felt that everything would work out all right. Katie was tired of waiting on the “ideal” mate that she was once committed to. She was now doubtful that such a person even existed.

    As the preacher pronounced them husband and wife my thoughts shifted to my own life. I was approaching my young adult years, and many people were beginning to question when I would be married. The worry that I had previously felt

for Katie was now replaced with worry about my own future. Not only was I not engaged, but there were no prospects in sight. As I rode home from the wedding that day I told myself that although Katie had not waited on God’s best, at least she was married. I began to convince myself that everything really would work out all right, and maybe they would go on to live happily ever after. But deep inside I knew the truth.

    That’s why it was no surprise when Katie called a few months after the wedding and tearfully confided that she was miserable in her marriage. However it was a surprise that she blamed God for all of her marital problems and refused to take any personal responsibility. Katie was married to a man who had very little interest in church, prayer, or the word of God. Because these things remained a vital part of Katie’s life, she was very unhappy. Her husband was frustrated and angry because of her demands that he be involved in church. But Katie was blaming God, asking why would God allow this to happen to her.

As Katie shared her marital trials, God had my full attention. Everything was not working out all right. The love they had for each other was not enough. God was showing me an up close example of the tremendous need to wait on His best, even if it means many seasons of singleness. My heart broke for my friend as I thought about the wonderful love story that God had planned for her life. It also saddened me that she refused to

acknowledge that it was her own sin, selfishness and impatience that contributed to her troubles. But primarily, I was grieved and disappointed in myself for taking my eyes off of Christ, and trying to rationalize Katie’s choice.

Since my talk with Katie that afternoon, there has been a pattern of ongoing problems in her marriage. She is now convinced that the promise and commitment to wait on God’s best we made as teenagers was nothing more than an unrealistic fantasy. However I believe that could not be further from the truth. Through Katie’s life I have seen the devastating consequences of running ahead of God’s will. I have also seen in the lives of others the extraordinary, rich and rewarding blessings that come when the choice is made to not settle for the standards this world defines, but instead to wait on God’s perfect, flawless will.

    It has been three years since Katie’s wedding day. I am still single, and just as it was then, there are still no prospects in sight. Many still ask the “marriage question.” In fact it seems that as I get older, the questions and expectations increase. However I am determined that the expectations of others will not alter the commitment that I have made to my heavenly Father. My Father cares so much for me that He took the time to number the hairs on my head. I am confident that God does have a perfect will for my life, including who and when I will marry. My present focus is learning to fall in love with Jesus, allowing Him to show me areas of my life that are not pleasing to Him and

ridding those things from my life. I am also learning to daily deny self and to pursue an imitate and passionate relationship with God Who has an amazing plan for my life.

ridding those things from my life. I am also learning to daily deny self and to pursue an imitate and passionate relationship with God Who has an amazing plan for my life. *

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