tone.  Sure, she’s still a “Christian” and she still goes to church, but it’s obvious she and God aren’t on close intimate terms.  Rachel is very similar to the 39-year-old woman who wrote to me after the radio interview – she feels God has let her down, and she’s letting the whole world know it.  Two single young women – two very different stories.  What makes the difference between Tiffany’s radiant version of singleness and Rachel’s embittered one?  Plain and simple…a love story with Jesus Christ.

In my book Authentic Beauty, I wrote about the time in my life when I finally discovered the fulfillment of all my romantic childhood hopes and longings; when I finally found the prince I had always dreamed of to carry me away to his castle and cherish me forever.  Since many of my readers knew about my love story with Eric, they at first assumed that when I spoke of my “prince”, I was talking about him.  But as I explained in Authentic Beauty:

My true Prince is not Eric. My true Prince is Jesus Christ. Eric, with all his amazing qualities, could never meet the deepest needs inside my heart the way my true Prince has. If not for the tender love of my true Prince, my love story with Eric would not have even been possible. The romance of my love story with Eric is only a faded glimmer of the spectacular beauty of the love story I share with my Jesus Christ. In fact, my childhood longing to be loved and cherished by a tender knight that I could follow to the ends of the earth was placed in my heart by Him. Jesus Christ alone can fulfill that desperate longing.

(Authentic Beauty)

for everything, and not on another human.

If only more single young women would catch a vision for this amazing season of life, just as this woman did!  As Paul said, “There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world -how she may please her husband.”  (1 Cor 7:34)

Singleness is an incredible opportunity to be fully consecrated in body and spirit to Jesus Christ alone – to be undistracted by any other romance and free to be consumed with Him alone.  And, as mentioned earlier, this is not only an amazing opportunity for our single years, but it is the absolute best way we could ever prepare for marriage.  When Jesus Christ is our all in all, we will never place unhealthy pressure upon our spouse to meet the needs only He can fill.  And if our husband is ever taken from us, we will not lose our confidence, hope or security – because it’s in Jesus Christ.

“WELL - THAT’S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY...

YOU’RE MARRIED!”

In my book Set Apart Femininity I wrote about Sabina Wurmbrandt, whose husband Richard was imprisoned and tortured for ten years because of his stand for Jesus Christ.  For ten years, this amazing woman did not know if her husband was alive.  She was imprisoned herself for four years, then left on the streets without any way to buy, sell or get employment.  Her life was unspeakably difficult, and her marriage certainly wasn’t something out of a storybook.  Though her

husband dearly loved her, she could not lean on him for daily strength and comfort.  He couldn’t buy her roses, or even express his love to her during those years of torture and confinement.  And yet she remained just as joyful, radiant, fulfilled and outward-focused once Richard was taken away from her as when he was by her side.  Why?  Because Jesus Christ was everything to her. 

Sabina’s heavenly romance with Christ far outweighed her earthly romance with Richard.  Her daily intimacy with the Prince of her heart carried her through the most dark and lonely nights.  She didn’t just survive those difficult years – she triumphed through them.  Her life was a glorious display of supernatural love and power to all those who encountered her.   She led thousands into the Kingdom of God – all because she was willing to lay down her every hope, dream and expectation for earthly romance and allow Jesus Christ to be her all in all.

Putting Jesus Christ first is not something that comes easier when you are married.  Whether we have a man in our life or not, it is always a challenge to silence the selfish demands of our whims and emotions, and become consumed with Him alone.  But until we do, we aren’t truly ready for an earthly romance.  And often God will hold off bringing our future husband into our life until our heart is fully His.

In previous books I’ve written about the dangers of idolatry.  Idols are not just bronzed statues that people bow to in ornate temples.  An idol is anything that claims our heart, focus and attention above Jesus Christ.  And for the majority of women, the biggest temptation toward idolatry is our longing for earthly romance. Whether it’s the fairy tale dreams we’ve held onto since

childhood, a specific guy we have our eye on, or even the man we pledged our life to at the altar – earthly love can all too quickly become the central focus of our lives.  That’s why we so easily get our hearts broken and our dreams shattered – because they are wrapped up in the wrong love story.  Earthly romance becomes an idol that consumes our heart, emotions, time and focus.  All the while the most perfect love story with the most heroic Prince of all time is right there waiting for us.

THE SECRET TO BEAUTIFUL

LOVE STORIES

When William and Catherine Booth  (the founders of the Salvation Army) became engaged, a close Christian friend spoke these words about their romance: 

It is one of the most remarkable and charming love stories in the world – the love story of a man and a woman in whose hearts an extraordinary sense of Christ had the uppermost place.  To this couple, everything secular and human is secondary, for God and His worship is the sovereign focus of their existence.

                        (William and Catherine, page 65)

IF YOU ARE LONGING FOR ROMANTIC FULFILLMENT IN YOUR LIFE, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN JESUS CHRIST.

THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO FIND WHAT YOU ARE

SEARCHING FOR...

If you want a remarkable human love story – fall in love with Jesus Christ.  Being passionately in love with Jesus Christ is the only thing that makes an earthly romance truly beautiful.  But most of us have it backwards – first seeking to fulfill our heart’s desires with a human love story, and then attempting to add on an intimate romance with Jesus Christ.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.  Jesus is jealous for first place in our lives – and He must not be placed behind anyone or anything, including our husband.  That is why He said that in order to follow Him, we must forsake our families, houses and all that we have. 

Colossians 1:18 reminds us of the position He must have, in every single area of our lives: “…that in all things He may have the preeminence.”  Preeminence literally means “to hold first place.”  I challenge you to ask yourself this one question today:  Does Jesus have first place, or is it the hope of an earthly romance that you hold most dear to your heart?

Madame Jeanne Guyon wrote,

Abandonment is practiced by continually losing your own will in the will of God; by plunging your will into the depths of His will, there to be lost forever!  Abandonment must reach a point where you stand in complete indifference to yourself.  The attitude will bring you to the most wonderful point imaginable – where your will breaks free of you completely and becomes free to be joined to the will of God!  You will desire only what He desires.  (Experiencing the Depths of Christ, page 35)

As I’ve interacted with countless girls in my generation, I have found that single young women usually fall into one of two categories:  Those who are joyfully abandoned to Jesus Christ, and those that are still clinging to their own agenda. Tiffany’s version of singleness verses Rachel’s version.  Young women like Tiffany, who have a thriving love story with Jesus, are joyful, happy, radiant and fulfilled.  It doesn’t mean they never experience loneliness or the longing for a human love story.  But with every pang of loneliness and every wistful longing for marriage, they lean all the more upon Jesus Christ, and find that He is ready and willing to satisfy the cry of their heart – day or night.  As Song of Solomon beautifully portrays:

Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? 

(Song of Solomon 8:5)

If you are longing for romantic fulfillment in your life, look no further than Jesus Christ.  There is no other way to find what you are searching for, even if the most gorgeous and gallant man carried you away to the most glorious castle in the world.  If you never get married on this earth, you can be the most romantically satisfied woman in the world – when Jesus is your Bridegroom, the lover of your soul.  And if you do get married on this earth, your love story can be a beautiful reflection of the greatest romance of all time.  Either way – a love story with Jesus Christ is the key to romantic fulfillment.

My amazing sister-in-law, Krissy, lived out her single years one day at a time.  When her brother Mark asked her once if she was called to singleness, her response was, “Today I am.”  She

didn’t worry about the next ten years; she trusted God for the grace to live joyfully and contentedly for that day alone, knowing that she would have everything she needed.

I’ve encountered many radiant single young women who are completely unconcerned with the disapproval and opinions of others.  They don’t get ruffled by the “singles support groups” all around them.  They aren’t shaken by the subtle pressure of

friends and family members to hurry up and find a guy.  Why?  Because they understand that their bodies are living sacrifices to the King of all kings.  They have become the bond-slaves of Christ.  They are ravished and captivated by their soul’s Husband.

Young women fervently in love with Jesus Christ aren’t worried what other people think – their eyes are seeking only the applause of Heaven.  And, like Christ, they approach every circumstance in life with the knowledge that their Heavenly Father is handling the situation – their role is not to manipulate or control.  Their role is merely to yield themselves fully to Him.  And they have found great joy in this abandoned life – so much so that they truly embrace singleness as a gift, rather than resenting it as a stigma.

I’m not talking about an arrogant feministic “I don’t need a man in my life” kind of attitude.  And I’m not talking about losing all desire for marriage and family.  I’m simply talking about a joyful yielding to Jesus Christ, trusting in His perfect timing, and building your life and focus around Him rather than the pursuit of marriage.

Don’t take the advice of the modern Christian culture to “hurry up and get married already”.  Don’t be riled by the insensitivity of friends and family.  Take the advice of Paul (in 1 Cor 7) and discover the incredible opportunity awaiting you in