WHEN ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

As my kids get older, it’s getting harder and harder for me to take them to any public play area where I know they will interact with all sorts of children who come from all sorts of homes.  Quite often in these environments, my kids are exposed to behavior that is the very opposite of the Godly Truth we are endeavoring to instill within them.  The other day Hudson noticed a little boy who was being an obnoxious bully, taunting other kids and using profane language.  He was very upset by what he saw, and on the way home asked me, “Why did that boy do those things?”

I explained to him that most likely, the little boy had never been taught about Jesus or instructed in Godly behavior towards others.  Though I didn’t say it out loud to Hudson, I also believe that most likely, this little boy was simply modeling the ungodly behavior he had observed in his parents and older siblings.

With young children, I am finding more and more that actions speak far louder than words.  While it’s vital that I give my children verbal instruction in Truth, it’s even more important that they see that Truth lived out in front of them on a day to day basis. I cannot call them to a high standard of Truth in their little lives if that same standard is not being honored in my own life.  It would be difficult, if not impossible, to teach them not to yell at their siblings if I myself was constantly losing my temper and yelling at them.  It would be hard to teach them how to live a disciplined, orderly life if my own habits were continually sloppy. 

I have observed that when it comes to training their children in Godly character, many parents over-teach and under-model.  St. Francis of Assai said, “Preach Christ at all times, and if necessary, use words.”  My words of instruction to my kids should be merely icing on the cake - a reinforcement of what they see me living out every moment of every day.  What a high and serious calling this is!  There have been times when I’ve been startled to realize that an impatient tone of voice I used toward my husband or kids was being parroted back to me by my two-year-old!  They watch everything.  They hear everything.  And they mimic everything; the good, the bad and the ugly!  

So it is my desire, by the grace of God, to be a constant “preacher of Christ at all time” to my children, even in the moments when I am not using words.  This requires absolute, moment-by-moment dependence upon the only One who is truly pure and holy.  Modeling Truth consistently to my children is something only He can do in and through me.  If I try on my own I will certainly fail.

Romans 2:21 presents a very poignant challenge to every parent:

You, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself?

Having children is an incredible tool for maintaining spiritual sharpness in my own life.  Everything I teach them, I must also teach myself.  Everything I expect them to live, I must also live out consistently.  So even though it’s a little like living in a fish bowl, having those little eyes constantly upon my life is also a great blessing, because it reminds me to live a life “worthy of the calling I have received.”